It hasn’t been without its benefits.
When I left Victoria I felt as though I had no home. When I felt lost and lonely and craved home, a nagging voice kept telling me, “but you have no home to comfort you…”
I’m glad I returned. I came back with the impression that Victoria is indeed home, I simply don’t belong at home.
This was wrong again. I started feeling it after a few days; things weren’t even going wrong (yet). It didn’t feel right here. Sure, it felt like the necessary step, but here as a whole felt wrong.
I know exactly who my true friends are now, and, despite the pain that brought me to this conclusion, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
But these people remain with me no matter where I go.
From 10 boxes and several suitcases filled to the brim with clothes, I now have but 2 boxes and 2 suitcases. I’m sending the 2 boxes to Edmonton to rest peacefully with my other keepsakes. Photo albums, books – the things I only need to keep, but need not have with me on my journeys.
I feel free. It’s all gone. I have few belongings left in the world. I have no more attachment to Victoria, nor to Canada at all. My beautiful friends stay with me no matter how far apart we are, and they know we cannot be close. My place is on the road, and theirs is not.
So I leave Victoria once more. This time, though, I shan’t return. Oh sure, maybe for a visit here and there, as I currently do with Edmonton. But this beautiful city has already given me all it has to offer me. It gave me you guys. But she has nothing left to give me.
Will I return to Canada? Perhaps. Will I ever live in those two cities I have called home? No, I won’t. Not even despite my love of Vic and the many free things to do in Victoria.
I needed to come back here… And now I can say my proper goodbye to the beautiful city I called home for two and a half years. But she will never be my home again. And when I crave home, from now on, I will know I’m there. For those who make a place home remain in my heart, and as for a location? The road is home… Until another location calls to me. And if nowhere ever does? That’s ok, too.
Thank you for all you have given me. I bid you a fond farewell, with all my lovely memories in tact.
But travel is not my hobby; travel is not my passion; travel is me. Travel is my very essence. And for anyone who’s known me for any significant length of time, you know. My soul crumples when I’m not on the road.
I look forward to hearing your stories and telling you mine. I look forward to when next we meet. But for now? For now, I must leave you all behind, in physical terms, for you can never leave my heart.
I love you. And I hope those of you I address this to know that. And if you don’t? I promise, you will know. And when I crave home, I will crave you, and never a location.