As I sit on the steps on a chilly but not cold New Zealand evening, I long for what I ran from.

I think of walking down the street heading home, my toes, ears, hands freezing, despite my winter jacket and boots. I walk faster.

I enter the house, and perhaps it’s still cold. I turn on the heat and curl up under a blanket while I wait for it to kick in. I watch a movie and smoke a bowl. Perhaps I am alone, or perhaps Esther is there.

I don’t necessarily need where once was home, but I need home for a time. It’s been too long since my cold heart has endured a painful goodbye. But the painful goodbyes come only from things that were worthwhile. I feel like a tourist of my own life.


Danie is a lovable and insane digital nomad of sorts. If you ever wondered what's a nomad, you've come to the right place. She enjoys oversharing, telling every detail of her life, and chilling on the beach, among other things. Danie is rather odd, and she likes it that way. Be sure to subscribe to hear more of her ramblings, and find out when Danie finally gets to fulfill her biggest dream: cuddling a platypus.

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