Swinger Lifestyle: What’s a Swinger?

Swinger Lifestyle: What’s a Swinger?
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Though I knew about them before, I was first introduced to the swinger lifestyle when I was at Two Creeks Clothing Optional Campground this summer. I mean, I’d heard of swingers. I had a few poly amorous friends. In essence, I knew what they were. But I didn’t really know as much as I thought. I was unaware of the complexity of the swingers lifestyle, and how many different facets there really were. I didn’t know there were a ton of different kinds of swingers, and the intense ground rules that should be laid down before a couple starts swinging. And I’d certainly never heard the term unicorn before. (Yes, you’ll know what it means by the time you finish reading this article.)

Now, though a human that prefers monogamous relationships, I feel like an honorary in the swinger lifestyle. I have a ton of swinger friends, and absolutely love hearing their stories. And everyone does it differently. The important thing is finding what works for you and your partner, not what everyone else is doing. If you try to do what so in so perfect couple of the year is doing, it’s more than likely not going to be your thing. Why do you want to be like anyone else, anyways? The number one thing to a successful swinger relationship is to have open communication with your partner. Figure out what works best for you two. Ignore what everyone else does. You may be light swingers, or you may fully immerse yourself. It totally depends on you. Test the waters, and see what works… and what doesn’t.

what's a swinger

The Swinger Lifestyle: What’s It All About?

When I arrived at Two Creeks I really didn’t know that we were going to fit in. Yes, I liked being naked, but I wasn’t a swinger in any way. After falling in love with the campground, I heard about Swingstock, their huge annual swinger’s event. Surely we wouldn’t be terribly welcome there. I mean, unwelcome is the wrong word. We just wouldn’t fit. But then I was told tons of non-swingers attend this lifestyle event. So why not check it out? I made good pals that weekend, and had a blast. It was for everyone. In true swinger culture, everyone is welcome… even if you’re not even a swinger.

What’s a Swinger?

A lot of people have no idea what a swinger is, and the idea of swinging it a totally foreign concept. A swinger goes by many names. Some may just call themselves poly amorous. Others are in open relationships. And some embrace the full on swinger lifestyle. Though there are slight differences in each (although some might argue they are merely synonyms), they all embrace the same concept of free love. Swingers are in relationships, a married couple or otherwise, however they don’t only have sex with or love their own partner. Swingers dating other people is totally common as well. There are of course forms of swinging, which is something I was totally unaware of before visiting the swingers campground in Minnesota.

The swinging lifestyle can take on many forms. Sometimes it’s incredibly sexually explicit with promiscuous sex, while other times people are just looking to meet cool new people. From what I’ve seen, those who focus on meeting people they enjoy have a far better success rate in the swinger lifestyle than those just looking to get laid. But if they’re adult swingers, it’s really up to them to set the ground rules. What works for one does not work for another. Some prefer the soft swap, in which there is no penetration (and there are still many degrees of this), versus full swap where there is penetration (again, many degrees).

Many swingers are also nudists, though not all. Or perhaps I should say many swingers enjoy being nude in front of others, though they may not identify as nudists. I find there’s a much bigger percentage of swingers that are nudists than nudists that are swingers.

There are a ton of swinger events all over the world, where couples or singles can go to meet other people in the swingers lifestyle. Some are cruises, hotel takeovers, nude resorts, or campgrounds even. The swinger lifestyle world is way bigger than you thought, right?

Why I’m Intrigued by Swingers

I’ve always been intrigued by people with different sorts of lifestyles. Swingers are no exception to this rule. I have a good friend who’s a furry (usually gay men, but not always, who are sexually attracted to each other in animal outfits). I always plague him with questions. Is this my thing? Absolutely not. Do I think it’s cool and unique, and want to know more? Absolutely! There are all these little sub pockets of society we seldom hear about. I want to hear about them.

I could never be a swinger myself – I get way too jealous. And that’s something you have to set aside to be in the swinger lifestyle. But these people aren’t like that. Or they shouldn’t be, at least, if they’re successful swingers. There are of course some that want to be in the swinger lifestyle – or their partner does – and they try it out… only to find out it really doesn’t work for them. I know from the get go it’s just not my thing.

But they’re just so unique. They can love each other so deeply – one couple I know is even about to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. Yet they can swap with other couples, watch each other having sex with others, and heaps of other sexual activities without getting jealous. Hell, it turns many of them on to see or think about their partner being with someone else. It’s a whole other world, and I want to know more.

And so I pretty much became an honorary swinger, with all my lifestyle friends telling me everything I want to know.

swinger lifestyle

Types of Swingers

There are so many types of swingers it’s bloody insanity. The term swinger can mean so many things. I really thought they were all in this neat little box before meeting them. I could not have been further from the truth. Swinging lifestyle comes in all shapes and sizes.

Many swingers only swing in the presence of each other. This may mean husband and wife swapping, or it may just mean having sex with your significant other in front of others. Many people are into meeting another couple, while others seek out the mythical unicorn. A unicorn is essentially a single female in the swinger lifestyle who is into hooking up with other swinger couples. They’re called unicorns because they’re just as easy to find as the mythical beast itself.

Then there are some that are into threesomes – whether an mff or mmf threesome. It doesn’t really matter; it’s just what you are into. Others are into group sex, which works great for them. I have a friend who recently told me excitedly that he had a five way. Is it for me? Nope. Was I stoked for him, because he was so happy? Hell yes! If it works for him and his wife, why the hell not?!

A swinger couple can do things a number of different ways. Some are just looking for the next sexual partner/sexual experience. Others want to make true bonds, and if sexual activity happens, great. If not, that’s totally fine too. I find the latter have the most success in their relationships. Swinging lifestyle doesn’t rule their life. It is merely a part of it. And that should be true for any interest someone has. It is a portion of your life, not everything.

Swinger Lifestyle Events

There are also some swinger clubs, and many swinger lifestyle events that go on. Hotel takeovers are not uncommon, and I’ve even heard of a friend or two going on a swinger lifestyle cruise. There are of course also places like Hedonism Resorts – each of which is an all inclusive resort – and such. These are all basically giant swinger parties.

I can’t tell you much about a swinging party because, well, I’ve never been. And I’d kind of like to go. I mean, they sound insane and awesome in every way. But I’m not a swinger. Would I be out of place? Certainly. Do I really care if I’m out of place? Nah, not really. I’d just love to experience what these are really like, as an outside observer of sorts. Sure, I’d make tons of pals, and just tell them like it is. I’m a monogamous human being who is intrigued by your life, and wants to learn more. I harbor zero judgement. In fact, I wish I was the type of person who could be in the swinger lifestyle without getting jealous. Alas, that’s just not who I am. So I remain an honorary swinger to all my friends who are swinging couples.

swingers lifestyle

Swinger Stories

I asked a few friends for their best swinger stories. Of course, I’m keeping them anonymous because who wants their sexual lives spread out on the internet? Not everyone is as insanely honest to a bunch of friends and strangers as I am. So here are a couple pieces of pure gold from the swingers themselves. Enjoy.

Swinger Stories: A Unicorn is Born

My wife and I had just recently joined the swinger lifestyle (LS) only a few months earlier that summer. But we were determined to dive in head first. We booked a hotel takeover in Vegas that was strictly LS. It was called the Electronic Circus Takeover. What we didn’t understand was this party was an intense EDM (electronic dance music) event as well as LS. So they played painfully loud music literally 22 hours a day.

This was a bit too much for us, as we were unable to sleep. Luckily for us, there was another couple that happened to be in Vegas that weekend that we met earlier that summer at a meet and greet in San Diego. We decided to book another hotel on the strip and spend the weekend with them. This would lead to one of the best weekends we’ve ever had and our favorite moment in the LS.

Our friends were staying at Caesar’s Palace and had an amazing room overlooking the strip. The wives, being exhibitionists, wanted to go check out their topless pool. There’s nothing like a little nudity to get things spiced up. Us guys decide to chill by the pool with some cocktails as the ladies get in the pool, and see what trouble they can get into.
Sure enough, an hour later we find them in the pool making out with some total strangers. Classic. So the other guy and I spot this very attractive women, early 40’s, looking very posh and almost unapproachable looking, sitting on the opposite side of the pool. My friend has the idea to go up to her and chat her up. Having been in the LS only a few months, this is still all a little new to me, but I go with it.

We approach her…

We approach her and start a conversation and things are going well. Then, the woman asks “So, where are your wives?” To which I reply, “they’re over there making out with those random guys.” She pauses, looks at over at our wives, back to us, back to them, then back at us. “Are you serious??” she says, totally stunned. We explain the situation and our swinger lifestyle and she is completely enthralled.
It’s at this point that I notice things between my wife and the guy she is with are getting so heated that the lifeguard has to tell them to separate or leave the pool. I yell over at them to tell them to come back, before they get us kicked out. After a little more explaining how the “lifestyle” works, the other woman asks, “well, who’s going to kiss me?” Without missing a beat my friend has his tongue in her mouth.
We invite her up to our friends room with us to “chat”. I honestly don’t think anything is going to happen. At any moment, I fully expect her to have an excuse or just simply disappear. Nope, we end up in the room and instantly the clothes come off. We proceed to have a five-way, my first, and it is simply amazing. In the LS we call single women “unicorns”, and that night, we birthed a unicorn

Swinger Stories: Threesomes Galore

It was Canada day. After a night of dancing to some house music my lady and I were looking to keep it going. We asked some friends… After party found!

So, we hit up this house party.  And… nnnnnNOT what we were looking for… it was lame. We started packing up to go, and a buddy of ours says, “hey, you guys leaving?”

It wasn’t far to get home, so we left on foot. The three of us staggered our way back downtown, towards my place. Our buddy lived out of town, and it would have been a pretty hefty cab fare. The three of us got to ours. It was late. We were drunk. We were high. And we were up.

So some drinks and a few party-favors in, things started getting a little more… “friendly”.

My lady felt spoiled being surrounded by two good looking fellas. A fantasy of hers, she spoke up and well…

My baby gets what she wants.

She got right into it. His cock is already out. She starts sucking him off. Buddy’s blown away. (pun intended). He looks over at me with disbelief, “you sure you’re alright with this?”

“I’m cool.” I reply.

I look over at my lady: “My baby gets what she wants,” with a wink. Things progress…

I watched. Though I prefer to get involved, so… I got in there.

Three party people. 2/3rds drunk dudes, 1/3rd sexy lady.

A tornado of a sloppy threesome happened. Many of the gritty details were lost in the haze of drugs and alcohol.  We had a lot of fun. Not one of us were able to finish.

My lady remembers hopping off the bed afterwards, and having to walk over a BUNCH of used condoms and empty wrappers. Like all of them we had, it looked like. Must have been over a dozen. Easy. A hilarious tale of the night’s many failed attempts at putting condoms on.

This was our first threesome. Ever.

After our friend left early in the afternoon, m’Lady and I reminisced. She was so thankful for allowing that experience to happen that she wanted to return the favour.

A few weeks earlier I had ran into a friend’s ex-girlfriend at a late night club. M’Lady and I already had an open agreement and I ended up taking her home that night and had a sexy party of two. Afterwards she raised interest in joining M’Lady and me for some fun. I told my girlfriend, and she was interested but didn’t care to act on it right away.

Fast forward to this day of post-party bliss and she brings up another option to keep our sexy party going.

“Let’s call the unicorn. It’s your turn next and let’s just get it over with now. Also, it would be kinda a crazy story to have – having our two first threesome experiences within the same day.”

We texted the girl.

She was down. We picked her, some take-out, and alcohol up. And off we went back to my place.

The girls hit it off fabulously. Every time I left the room I walked back in on them kissing, making out, and being insanely sexy and naughty.

The best moment from that night was a moment when both girls were on their hands and knees while I fingered each them simultaneously, and in a single moment they both looked over their opposite shoulders and looked back at me with a moan coming from their lips. It was my first time, but it seems like I was succeeding.

There was no upset, argument, or jealousy from our experiences that day. Not to say there hadn’t been in the past, or weren’t in the future. It definitely happens, often when you least expect it. For the vast majority of the time we have carefree, open heart fun with friends. It’s working for us.

Swingers Stories: From the Single Male Perspective

I was sitting at the bar at my normal swingers campground. I never spoke much, though I was there many times and knew everyone. I’m more of an observer than a talker. Sure people would approach me to strike up a conversation, and I wasn’t exactly anti-social. I’m just a quiet sort of person.

One wild night, everyone seemed to be hooking up with someone. I didn’t really do much there other than people watch and have drinks here and there. I wasn’t really working any sort of game. That’s just how I am. So I didn’t expect much. I enjoyed the atmosphere, the people were cool, and the place was an open sort of environment.

This night, however, was different than the rest. As I was sitting quietly at the bar, surrounded by people partying and having sex in the open, one married woman came up to me. “Is it okay if I grab your dick?” We’d spoken in the past, but not terribly much. And there she was asking to grab my dick. What single man is going to say no? She admired and played with my dick for a while. But before I knew it I was sitting there quietly – as per usual – except this time I was getting a blow job.

A friend walked by at some point while it was going on (albeit a friend I’d barely spoken to) and half laughed when she saw me. She later told me she reported back to all her friends what had happened. They were all blown away. How on earth did this man who didn’t speak a word manage to get a blow job? I just sat there, and it happened.

I guess you don’t always need game to get some. Maybe not talking works best.

swinger lifestyle

Danie

Danie is a lovable and insane digital nomad of sorts. If you ever wondered what's a nomad, you've come to the right place. She enjoys oversharing, telling every detail of her life, and chilling on the beach, among other things. Danie is rather odd, and she likes it that way. Be sure to subscribe to hear more of her ramblings, and find out when Danie finally gets to fulfill her biggest dream: cuddling a platypus.

One Comment:

  1. Great story thanks for sharing. You pretty much have it right on.

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