It’s weird, to say the least. Four and a half years straight of travel, and here I find myself in Fort Dodge, Iowa’s second most dangerous town (not that danger ever scared me off, but in the words of my boyfriend, “The only things that will kill you here are tweakers and cars.” Reassuring.) Sure, we’ve gone to the beautiful land of Two Creeks, a clothing optional campground in northern Minnesota, and we’ve ventured over to Okoboji, a wonderful place filled with lakes and friends I met back in Laos as well as new pals I met through the man. But mostly it’s Fort Dodge.
I feel like I’m young again… but not in the good way. Days are spent watching TV, smoking up, chilling with his friends and family. And it’s not bad, don’t get me wrong. It’s just insanely different, and I’m struggling to keep up with this motionless life. But I’m here for him, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
Still, my backpack rests in the corner, a complete mess of clothes piled everywhere, my tent sitting out waiting to be sent away to have the pole fixed. My tent. My home. But it isn’t my home right now; I live in an apartment with the most wonderful man, a man I fell for from day one. It was my choice to come back with him, despite knowing what Fort Dodge would be like. Sure, he’s getting his passport for upcoming adventures and soon we’ll head back to our bus at Two Creeks, but it’s weird. Have you gotten that it’s weird? Have I said weird enough times? Cause it’s weird as fuck.
My heart aches for the open road, my thumb out ready for the next adventure, that next car, that new friend – hell, give me a reason to post something new on Instagram with a great caption. But here I sit, watching Netflix, relaxing, something I do enjoy from time to time, but I can’t help but wonder how long I will have to sit, waiting, biding my time.
What’s a nomad to do when she falls for a sedentary man? Well, he isn’t quite sedentary as he likes to get the fuck out of Dodge, but he certainly is no nomad.
It doesn’t help that it’s been two and a half years since I’ve been in a relationship. I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m used to being selfish – doing what I like, how I like, when I like – and it never bothered anyone for I was always moving. But now I have to actually think about someone else. Do you know how hard that is for a person who is inherently selfish as fuck? It’s damn hard, I tell you.
So that’s my update; I apologize for the long wait to know what’s up in my life. But there it is. The nomad, for now, is sedentary as fuck. Oh, and public service announcement: do not visit Fort Dodge unless you have a fantastic man to be there with. Cause it kinda blows.